Step Into (Out Of?) Our Relationship

June 25, 2011 at 8:29 pm 5 comments

Editing a relationship is a far more difficult and emotionally charged process then say editing a pantry. But sometimes it’s just flat-out necessary. And we all know why. 

The word toxic may conjure up early 1990’s self-help rhetoric but we think it’s an extremely effective word to describe some of the relationships and people in our lives.  

Ever leave a phone conversation or dinner date feeling drained or irritated? Ever avoid phone calls from certain people? Or act in passive aggressive ways to avoid obvious manipulation? It’s time to say good-bye.  

We’re not claiming to be experts on breaking up with friends, family members, therapists, shoe care guys or dog walkers. But we do know this: staying in unhealthy relationships takes up valuable time, space and (sometimes) money.  

No we don't

And although the notion of healthy is subjective, we all have a pretty good idea as to what it means for our own lives and well-being. 

In other words, we’re all aware of which relationships make us happy and which ones give us a metaphorical (and sometimes physical) rash.

Our advice for proceeding is a lot like breaking up with clutter. Carve out some time to determine which people in your life make you squirm and create a strategy for making boundaries (finding emotional homes for them, if you will).

It doesn’t have to be dramatic and having good-bye conversations isn’t always necessary. Boundaries can be as simple as making a point to only meet the person once a month instead of once a week. Or finding a new hairdresser.

The internet is flooded with strategies, tips and advice around how to identify and mitigate toxic relationships – edit your searches and remember keeping people in your life for fear you’ll have no friends is on par with keeping stuff that no longer serves you.

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Entry filed under: Decluttering, Editing, Resources. Tags: , , , , .

Step Into Our Table Step Into Canada Day

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Rick  |  June 26, 2011 at 11:05 am

    Wow – is breaking up with family members an option?

    Reply
  • 2. Edit My Closet  |  June 26, 2011 at 11:17 am

    Sometimes it’s necessary. We recommend implementing strong boundaries instead. Self-awareness and family dynamic awareness are your new best friends.

    Reply
  • 3. Rick  |  June 26, 2011 at 11:23 am

    Got it. You guys just saved Christmas.

    Reply
  • 4. Laura Schneebly  |  June 26, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    Thanks for this. I’ve read a few books on toxic people and relationships – Lillian Glass in particular comes to mind – and have found them helpful.I work in an industry where success is obtained by being “on” all the time.

    Many of the people I work closely with are phony to the point of nauseating as a result. In these cases it’s all about boundaries, taking breaks, checking in with “real people” and self-care. Unfortunately editing coworkers isn’t an option! LS.

    Reply
    • 5. Edit My Closet  |  June 27, 2011 at 11:10 am

      It’s true Laura – it all comes down to boundaries!

      Reply

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